In Retrospekt: 10 Pokemon you WANT!

Written by Ben Rosenthal (of Post-Humour Comedy)

Early next year, two new Pokemon games will be released for the Nintendo DSi (and 3DS by default). However, these games are not a complete rehash of the same old Pokemon formula since the Red and Blue days. No, these new games Black and White will feature new battle systems, new locations and most interesting of all, 100% completely new Pokemon.

True, every generation thus far has had new Pokemon. However Black and White boasts that no pre-existing Pokemon will be available in the game until after its completion. With that being said, I thought it was time to have a look back at the 10 best Pokemon from the previous four generations. So here you are, the 10 Pokemon that you WANT!

10.

Pidgeotto

If it walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it must be a duck. That saying is somewhat true for Pidgeotto (besides the whole duck thing). This Pokemon may look like a simple bird, but it is sooooo much more. With more speed than Paris Hilton in a Las Vegas bar, Pidgeotto can swoop, peck your eyes out and hang them on a X-Mas tree as decoration before you have even decided which Pokemon to use. A personal favourite of mine it proves that just because something looks average, doesn’t mean it is boring….much like my writing.

Eevee

Known as the palindrome Pokemon. Sure, it looks like a little Pomeranian dog. Yes, it is rubbish if not evolved, but when you do choose to evolve it – woahhhhhhhh Nelly (Nelly is the name of the greatest Eevee trainer of all time. Now you know where that saying originated). Leafeon, Glaceon, Flareon, Jolteon, Vaporeon, Umbreon, Espeon, Duckeon, Optimuseon, Partridgeinapeartreeon – There seems to be no limit to what this little fluff ball can evolve into. In fact, you could probably come up with a pretty damn cool team of Eevee-lutions if you could be bothered. Which I can’t.

Magmortar

Just looking at Magmortar you may need to change your pantaloons. He looks as if he is living lava, and has a massive cannon for an arm. A cannon that shoots lava. Do I really need to say anymore?

Gyrados

You know what I love about Gyarados – he’s all about the rage. You see, before Gyrados evolved, he was a Magikarp. The most useless, pathetic, unusable Pokemon there is. Magikarp taste horrible, and cannot learn any new moves. They are a joke. However, upon reaching level 20, all that anger and resentment that has been building within that flaiflin fish explode, and he turns into a Chinese dragon. So what are his moves? Well, he’s got the water moves down, can learn thunder and ice fang, but also DRAGON RAGE. Do you want to go up against a dragon in a rage? No, no you don’t.

Scyther

He’s a bug ninja. Well, that’s how I like to think of him. Scyther stings like a butterfly and floats like a bee…or something. He fast, he’s merciless and he’s green. Not only that, but give him a silver coat, trade him over and he evolves into the metal bug ninja known as Scisor. Crap name, but METAL NINJA!

: Bow to your Master

Tyranitar

Admit it – you’ve always wanted a dinosaur to call your own. Tyranitar is the next closest thing. A tank of an animal, Tyranitar is powerful, threatening to look at, and has a pretty high tolerance to all other forms of attack. Including the power of love.

Chimchar

Fire + Monkey = Win. Well, not in our reality where it equals a lengthy prison term. But in the Pokemon world it gives you a fast little fighting Pokemon who can spit fire. Imagine how different Disney’s Aladdin would have been if Abu was a Chimchar? No need for a Genie, Jafar would have been toast.

Shinx

Shinx is a common and yes, cutesy Pokemon. However, once he reaches his final evolution, Luxray, gone are the large anime eyes, and you have a lion that can throw thunderbolts. Not only that, but if you breed a Shinx with a Snubull, you can have a Pokemon that not only knows Thunder Fang, but Fire Fand AND Ice Fang. It’s like bringing a cannon, a bigger cannon, and a bazooka to a knife fight.

Charizard

He’s a freaking dragon. Imagine walking up to a battle, you popponent pulls out a little turtle or cutesy mouse, and you pull out a dragon. He breathes fire, he flies, and if you get him in his shiny form he’s black. He just scream badass.

MewTwo

MewTwo is the Darth Vader of the Pokemon world. Forget all this other crap about Pokemon Gods, and Pokemon that control time and space. MewTwo is above all that. A Psychic/fighting Pokemon, MewTwo can get into your head, make you think you’re a chicken, and while you’re clucking around like a fool throw some fireball-looking psychic force your way.

There you have it. Ten awesome Pokemon from the last four generations of the game that saved Nintendo. However, none of them compare to possibly the greatest Pokemon to be revealed in the new Black and White games. Brace your faces as they may melt clean off, as you bare witness to – SMUGLEAF!