Michael Towns
For many years now, Retrospekt has been both lucky and fortunate enough to get hold of breaking retro game related news right as the month of March comes to an end. And this year is no different, as we have some quickfire chunks of hot stuff ready to go yet again!
Mario Movie Delisted Ahead Of Release
Much to the surprise and chagrin of Nintendo fans worldwide, the console and video game developer has pulled a very Nintendo move by delisting and pulling the new and formerly forthcoming Super Mario Bros. film. Much like they have done to their Mario videogame properties in the past on March 31st and with less than a week to go until the planned cinematic release this news has come as a massive shock.
A representative for Nintendo has been quoted as saying that “Like, what…four…maybe five people have seen the movie now? That’s more than adequate, and we don’t want to lessen the impact of the brand by leaving a release like this open. Illumination Entertainment has shown disappointment in this but we’ll be able to make it up to them by adding a Minion into our next mainline Pokemon and Mario Kart titles”. They followed this up by stating “Any rumours you may hear that Nintendo and Illumantion stored the only copy of the film on the 3DS eShop servers and that it has been wiped from existence are marginally incorrect”.
Intellivision Forgets To Make Amico Consoles
We’ve had a couple of Amico related stories on the website over the years but this one’s the kind of bamboozlement we weren’t close to being prepared for. After many years of hurdles, hiccups and delays the Intellivision Amico finally had a shadow-launch overnight, with many units already appearing at the doorsteps of gaming influencers and fans alike. Only, there’s one slight snag. They forgot to make the consoles…and sent out empty boxes instead.
John Alvarado, chief technological officer at Intellivision was quick to come to the companies defense announcing that “This is just a minuscule problem with an easy fix, we’ve already put together a patch which you’ll be able to download right now”. When asked how this patch would be downloaded without a console existing to store it on, Alvarado proceeded to shout “THIS BIRDS GOTTA FLY!” before jumping out the closest window in very dramatic fashion and running into the sunset. So far he has been unable to be reached for comment.
Family Of Bats Found In “Refurbished” DKOldies Console
There’s been a lot of controversy lately about the retro gaming retailer DKOldies. Along with their knowledge of what they’re selling possibly not quite being up to scratch, the “refurbishing” of consoles has come into question. Which is something they add a premium onto their products for. In a shocking turn of events, someone has found a family of bats living in one of these so-called refurbished units.
“I dunno…I was disappointed at first, but they’re honestly pretty cute. I like the way they dress too. One of ’em bit me though and I have a bit of a headache now” Wayne McBruce was quoted saying, the purchaser of said bat-flavoured-console. He was still keen on a refund though so the bats were re-packaged with the unit and sent back to DKOldies. We wish Wayne luck with getting his money back, as well as hoping his rabies shots are up to date.
Nah Trick Nah
Iconic rapper Soulja Boy has had a history with gaming the last few years. From selling bootleg consoles and handhelds to thinking he owns Atari for buying some cryptocurrency. In the newest chapter to this story, Soulja is now suing Atari for copyright infringement. Claiming that the 1982 Atari 2600 title Yars Revenge is ripping off his 2007 hit “Yah Trick Yah!“.
When quizzed about the fact that Yar and Yah are completely different words, along with the game coming out over twenty years before the song Souljas only reply was “YAH YAH GET OUT MY FACE YAH YAH”. It is very much in character for Soulja Boy to tell’em.
Anyway, that’s the end of these very factual and true breaking news stories from the world of retro games. And until next April 1st, have a marvelous year.
PS. – The new Tetris film is great. That’s not a joke, it’s really good. Well worth a watch.